Erin Diehl is a clinical pastoral counselor, and she offers wise words for those in the middle of grief or preparing for it. Her guidance may be important for looking to place a loved one in hospice care.
Overcoming Loneliness After Loss
1. Reach Out to Friends: "After my husband's death, I had to learn that when my loneliness seemed overwhelming I could not sit around and wait for someone to call me. I needed to initiate the encounter...If you seek support you will find it."
2. Commemorate Your Loss: "If you are grieving the death of a loved one, find a way to express the loss you feel, and also to symbolize the ongoing presence of that loved one in your life...Find a way to celebrate the gift that your loved on has been to you. Perhaps you could plant a tree or write a poem. However you choose to memoralize your loved one, draw comfort from the fact that nothing can take your cherished memories from you or erase the untold ways your loved one has touched your life and remains very much with you."
3. Trust that the Pain Will Pass: "My friend Mary was in a lot of pain after her husband abruptly left her with six children to raise. Even though the marriage had not been an ideal one, Mary felt the agony of loneliness. But her faith carried her through the most difficult times, and she is a wiser and stronger person today.
'We can pass through pain because it will not last forever,' she says. Mary believes that all of life involves gift and loss. If your pain feels overwhelming, take some comfort in knowing it will not always feel as intense as it does today."
4. Cultivate an Appreciation For Solitude: "Find activities you can do alone that bring you satisfaction and peace of mind and heart. At your time of deepest loss, try to find something special to do that brings you joy. You can never replace the person you have lost, but you can find comfort in solitude if you learn to befriend it."
5. Get the Support You Need: "After an experience of great loss, it is natural to feel a variety of emotions. If you would like some ongoing help exploring and working through some of the difficult emotions that may surface, consider getting some private counseling, attending a support group that addresses your needs, or both."
6. Turn to God for Strength: "My faith in God was and is the best coping tool I have. Prayer and meditation can be excellent paths to inner peace and balance. If you are feeling too distressed to pray or sit quietly, don't forget that there are a host of excellent spiritual books and tapes."
"Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, emphasizes the value of a grateful heart. It is hard to be thankful and sad at the same time. Spend a little time pondering the many things in your life for which you are grateful. With time, you may even feel gratitude for the admittedly painful lessons you are learning as you move through your present loss."
March 31, 2011
March 7, 2011
Hospice News: Good and Bad from Around the World
"Reimbursement Cuts Will Negatively Affect Hospice Care"
A recent study shows that "as a result of two recent cuts to Medicare reimbursement, the first regulatory and the second statutory, the overall median Medicare profit margin for the hospice community could decrease from 2 percent in 2008 to -14 percent by 2019."
The study goes on to demonstrate how, like nearly everything else involving health care in the United States, poor areas--both urban and rural--will face the worst consequences of cuts to hospice care.
Blue Skies Hospice serves many low-income families at no cost. Organizations like Blue Skies play a vital, valuable, and essential role in their communities, because they attempt to fill in the gaps of social dislocation by providing suffering people with services they otherwise could not have. Small organization can only go so far, however. The larger polity of the United States needs to make quality hospice care a larger priority.
"At India's First Hospice, Every Life is Important"
"The pin drop silence gives no indication that there are 60 patients admitted at the moment in Shanti Avedna Sadan-the country's first hospice that is located on the quiet incline leading to the Mount Mary Church in Bandra. "
"There is only one guiding principle here: no life is so worthless that it can be thrown away. 'Life is a gift given by God. We cannot dictate when it should end,' said Sister Aqula Chittatil. Sisters and nurses who take care of the day-to-day running of the hospice have only goal: to ensure that the patient's end of life is as pain-free as possible and full of care."
This beautiful story is a reminder that from Egypt to Ethiopia and from India to Indiana, human beings have the same physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Hospice care does a wonderful service for suffering people by making a valiant and qualified effort to fill those needs.
A recent study shows that "as a result of two recent cuts to Medicare reimbursement, the first regulatory and the second statutory, the overall median Medicare profit margin for the hospice community could decrease from 2 percent in 2008 to -14 percent by 2019."
The study goes on to demonstrate how, like nearly everything else involving health care in the United States, poor areas--both urban and rural--will face the worst consequences of cuts to hospice care.
Blue Skies Hospice serves many low-income families at no cost. Organizations like Blue Skies play a vital, valuable, and essential role in their communities, because they attempt to fill in the gaps of social dislocation by providing suffering people with services they otherwise could not have. Small organization can only go so far, however. The larger polity of the United States needs to make quality hospice care a larger priority.
"At India's First Hospice, Every Life is Important"
"The pin drop silence gives no indication that there are 60 patients admitted at the moment in Shanti Avedna Sadan-the country's first hospice that is located on the quiet incline leading to the Mount Mary Church in Bandra. "
"There is only one guiding principle here: no life is so worthless that it can be thrown away. 'Life is a gift given by God. We cannot dictate when it should end,' said Sister Aqula Chittatil. Sisters and nurses who take care of the day-to-day running of the hospice have only goal: to ensure that the patient's end of life is as pain-free as possible and full of care."
This beautiful story is a reminder that from Egypt to Ethiopia and from India to Indiana, human beings have the same physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Hospice care does a wonderful service for suffering people by making a valiant and qualified effort to fill those needs.
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